I am finally back to blogging! It took me a year to really find myself as a person who shares about her life on the internet. I have struggled so much to find my online persona. I have struggled so much with opening up about issues I have dealt with in the past (and in the present).

My brain is always at war with caring about what other people might think and caring about what I think. I am a people pleaser so the latter is always going to be on the losing end. I struggle with coming up with blog post ideas and I constantly ask myself if someone would be interested in what I have to share or would they just think I’m full of shit? Hmmmm.

A good friend told me the other day that I shouldn’t care what people think about my blogging as long as I enjoy it. And he’s right because I truly do enjoy blogging and the art of it. I just overthink it and that just takes out the fun.

I TAKE BLOGGING SO SERIOUSLY WHY WHY WHY!!!

I literally spent almost 3 weeks deciding if I should come back to blogging. I wrote multiple pros and cons lists to help me. I told myself to write goals. Realistic ones that will help me with my decision of coming back.

I was hesitant at first when I thought of sharing them here but that’s the struggling INFJ in me. Always too private. So I’m about to take a leap and share with you these goals I would like to focus on. These aren’t yearly goals at all. These are life goals. Goals to help push past the struggle I’ve been facing in my life.

xxx

I have become really shy. (SHOCKING, I KNOW!) And I am going to aim to get out of my comfort zone and into the unknown zone.

I love blogging and I love writing. I write when I’m all sorts of emotions. I love personal blogging too. I love reading about someone’s personal experience with something and I love getting to say that I am not alone and someone is dealing with this too. But the sad part is, people online now are so reserved. I believe they also struggle with the fact that they do not want to get judged for feeling that way. Especially being judged by strangers on the internet who can say anything and get away with it.

Like I have mentioned before, I have become really shy. I have become an awkward small talker and I don’t know what to say to people anymore. I am going to aim to reach out to other people who have drifted away from me. (And by drifted away, I don’t mean by fighting. I mean by life happening and people lose communication with each other)

I’m out of shape. I know that. I get guilty over the anxiety that has developed and I want to embrace it and not feel bad about it. I am going to aim to develop positive energy and positive habits. BECAUSE WHO ENJOYS A NEGATIVE NANCY?

I don’t want to say that I’m a perfectionist but I kinda am. I want to not sweat the small things and be okay with things that happen in my life. I want to move on from past failures and be contented. (This is definitely easier said than done)

Self-explanatory.

I actually practice this already through the KonMari method. I told myself if something doesn’t serve me purpose, then I get rid of it. I believe this method has helped me clear clutter in my life (and soul) that I didn’t really need.

I am a cry-baby so this is self-explanatory.

I would like to grow my soul and choose me more. I believe this will be the biggest struggle I will face because I really have a hard time when it comes to choosing me.

I am going to aim to stop pulling things off because I don’t feel like doing them. I want to start getting things done and organize my life by using my time on things that matter and by knowing my priorities.

xxx

PS. I have deleted all of my past posts as they didn't make me happy except for two. They are there because those came from the heart and I want them to be there. Things do change though.